Tuesday, March 4, 2014

What Really Happened: Cinderella

Have you ever read a fairy tale?  I'm sure you have.  I'm sorry for your pain.  The thing is, fairy tales sadly lack believability.  Let me tell you some things that obviously were true but left out in the story of Cinderella.

Missing #1:  Wouldn't Cinderella's neighbors and friends notice that she was now a servant when before she had been nobility?  Her step-family could have bribed them--but you would suppose that there must have been at least one honest person among all her acquaintance.  If they said she was sick they would have tried to visit her.   If she supposedly died, people would have gone to her funeral, which the step-family would not want to spend money on.  They would have had to move to an area of the kingdom entirely unsuitable for visits from old friends.

Missing #2:  Their new house had AWESOME security.  Otherwise, Cinderella would have escaped, even if by accident.  She was a servant, so she knew the ins and the outs of the place.  

Missing #3:  Cinderella was very young when her father died.  Then it would have been much easier to get her to stay a servant.  She also wasn't initially very strong but she became strong through her chores.  Which explains why she was able to run faster than the prince even in a ball gown.

Missing #4:  Cinderella didn't wear the shoes.  They were glass and would break.  Her dress was long enough that this could be concealed.  It's understandable.  Cinderella was a servant girl and was probably not accustomed to shoes, especially glass ones.  She could have hidden them in the folds of her dress, and somehow pinned them there.  When she ran one fell out.  This also helps explain why she could run so fast.  

Missing #5:   Cinderella's feet were oddly shaped.  If they weren't, the shoes would have fit someone else, too.  That's why shoes are mass-made.  But Cinderella's were custom-made, so they were different.

Missing #6:  After this incident Cinderella was forever afraid of coaches, horses, coachmen, and footmen.  She was always afraid that they would suddenly turn into pumpkins, mice, rats, and lizards.

And that's it.  I will be doing several more What Really Happeneds, so stick around.  If you have any suggestions or questions be sure to leave a comment.