Some Concerns

Impending Doom

I am getting braces this Thursday.  Oh, dear.

I know it's necessary, and that I'll be happy that I got them.  I'm happy that I'm getting them instead of having mouth surgery later on down the road.  But I'm still nervous.  And I don't suppose anything will take that away until I'm sitting in the big chair.

I'm always calmer once the situation has already begun.  I can't change anything.  Why worry?  In truth, I am much less scared than I would have been a year ago.  I know that the orthodontists know what they're doing (at least I hope so!) and I don't know what else to do.  All the same, it is rather disconcerting that what I predicted years ago shall come to pass this week.  I wrote this a few years back:

The Orthodontist's Prophecy

I predict that her teeth shall be shackled with shafts of iron, and a color of her own choosing.  And the appearance shall be of one who is imprisoned.  She shall follow in the path of her eldest sister.  And great pain shall be inflicted upon her.  She shall fast a day, and bear the pain as she watches TV.  And the pain shall end, but she shall bear the burden for two years.  Then it shall end and she shall be gone from my sight forevermore.  And her teeth shall be straight.

It's strange.  And kind of sad.  But I guess it's my fault, for not taking better care of my teeth.  But there is no longer time for regrets--bring on Thursday!

Leadership

Leadership; it's kind of scary.  Whenever I think about future positions of leadership I'll have to take, I get a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I know what I would have to do.  I would have to remain...in control.  I would have to let them know that I know what I'm doing and I mean what I say.  But more than that, I would have to earn their trust and respect.  Which would mean opening up.  And I'm not good about opening up.

The trouble would be finding the balance between transparency and self control.  But I think I could manage.  I could tell the troubles I had been through and how I overcame them.  I could let them know that whatever they wanted to tell me, I would listen, with the utmost respect.  I would have to be set apart but kind to those apart from me.  I would have to be a role model.  If I did something quite obviously wrong, though, I would have to do the hard thing and apologize.

I would have to deal with the concerns, the questions, and I couldn't complain.  If I had several choices, I might have to ignore the nice choice and go for the wise one.  I would have to punish people I liked because they did something wrong.  I would have to ignore their complaints if they got whiny and out of hand, and deal with the results wisely.

But most of all, I would have to be a friend and someone they could count on.  And I would let them know that the greatest pleasure was working with them.